me: so, I was checking out FBI internships, and-
friend 1: FBI? my MOM works for the FBI!
me: no way! that's really cool! maybe she could put in a good word for me
friend 1: yeah, maybe. this one time, she got in a car accident, and-
me: so she says
friend 1: what?
me: no, go on, her "car accident"...
friend 1: what are you talking about?
me: she was really doing a cover op, friend 1. she got wounded protecting her country...
friend 1: riiiight...
me: are we under surveillance right now?
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