.legs.

i walked into our bathroom last night around 10pm and pulled back the curtain to wash my feet. perfectly innocent and unsuspecting.

and sitting there by the drain, hardly moving, was the most monstrous millipede/centipede/some-kind-of-pede ever. ever. it was the grossest thing, and on top of the recent fly infestation, i couldn't help but think about all of the insects that could be crawling into my open mouth while i sleep, all the eggs that could be in the food i eat or on the dishes in the drying rack.

and so i just stood there, sizing up the miniature monster for a good three minutes - trying to figure out what to do with it. trying to figure out if he had seen me. trying to figure out how i could defeat something one hundred times smaller than i. he had totally seen me. he was plotting his escape that very minute - ready to mount an attack. what if i turned on the water and it leapt up and crawled into some crevice and multiplied into millions of baby monsters? what if i tried to smoosh it with toilet paper and it bit me? so i ended up grabbing jeff's shoe (he left me; what else am i going to do with his stuff but kill bugs?), and set about to kill the beast. but it didn’t die. with the first whack, it was squished, but it was still flailing around against the white porcelain. so, i wacked it again. and again. and it was still alive and moving and its little tentacle feelers were taunting me with little waves and winks. after about 5 whacks, there were enough pieces of it smeared around the bathtub that i was sure it was dead, so i turned on the water and washed it away.

now i'm worried about a massive millipede uprising originating in the tub. if no one hears from me for a while, they may have gotten to me in my sleep.

cheers.